The Little Things

In summer robe she sits

Bathed in the late morning sun

By the large east window

Barefoot, with slender calves

Crossed beneath the breakfast table

Pouring intently over the sunday news

Her long dark hair thrown to one side

Ruffled but beautiful

Illuminating her face

As she leans on her hand

Teaspoon still held in her fingers

While the steam rises from her favourite cup

That small furrow appears

As something written strikes a chord

The captivating light in her eyes

Processing a world of ideas

As her mind deciphers the fact from fiction

Unseen I smile to her across the room

At the little things that mean so much

Things she doesn’t even know she does

That make her stand out for me

My woman, my equal, my lover and friend

I set her favourite brunch beside her papers

And her hand reaches out

Clasping my retreating fingers in thanks

Holding on a moment while she finishes a paragraph

Until her eyes turn up to me above a smile

This dream come true

Radiant in the sun’s glow

And the light reveals her femininity

The hidden silhouette through the thin material

Stirring memories of our late morning

And happiness fills the room

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

Arise My Flame

Arise my flame

Again

And one last time shout out my name

So I can know you’re here

To put the fire back in my chest and incinerate the fear

Do not desert me now

Stop me from spiraling down and show me how

It’s just one more attack

Don’t look back

At the precipice on which I stand

Don’t point the hand

Unto the rocks on which I’ll land

Should the might

Of all I fight

Overwhelm me in defeat this night

Burn inside my mind

Once more and help me find

The courage not to drop down to my knees

And take the path of ease

Say please, please

I was wrong to challenge authority

And beg for them to accept me

Back into the fold

Until I’m old

And cold

In my heart that before this night

Beat hard for all that is right

Your flame that blazed a light so bright

Showing me

The lies upon the lies upon reality

Everything I could see

With clarity

So help me now for if I’m right how can it be

That here I stand and face the beast

That bares to me it’s teeth

And with a merciless hunger comes to feast

I’m standing still, but left with no retreat

But to kiss the feet

Don’t let me bow

For the moment of truth is now

And if I fail and darkness takes me down allow

Me to carry your warmth as I fall

To sustain me through the cold and all

The hardships that may befall

When everything I once possessed is lost

Except my principles which are too high a cost

To give away to live in comfort and lies

Don’t give them up no matter how hard they try

They are all a man takes with him when he dies

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

Missing The Bus

Ah sure we’ve loads of time

I say, it doesn’t go till three

We can take the long way round

To kill the hour, just you and me

A tour of distraction I shall lead

The sun, the sea, the sand

And for the whole of this last hour

I get to talk and hold your hand

We check the time, we’ve cut it fine

To reach our parting stop

But if we boot it up the hill

We might just make it to the top

I wonder how you’ll take it

When you see the bus fly past

Before we reach the junction in the road

And knowing that it was the last

When we see the race is lost

Just by a minute did it win

I apologise profusely

And hide my happiness within

For I have you for another night

You do not seem that fazed

That a minute late might change your life

In many new and unknown ways

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

The Day The Heart Turned Cold

I remember it sharply like a winter morning

The moment you step out of the front door

And the frozen air first hits your face

Making you wince and recoil

Turning your cheeks blush red

The heat is sapped from your breath

Like the very words freeze in front of your eyes

Wanting to turn around and go back inside

And knowing there is nothing else you can do

But step out and face the harsh bite of the wind

You can feel even through your clothes

As it cuts into you to the very core

For this was the day the heart turned cold

It was the day those loving words changed

They once touched my skin like warm rain drops

Yet suddenly they became so cold

Like an icy driving sleet cutting my raw face

Desperately looking to the sun to warm me

To see your smile and know my ears deceived

But the warmth of that smile was hidden

By an ever darkening cloud of uncertainty

Searching the dimming sky for a chink of blue

Hoping that the winds may turn in my favour

And bring the warm sun back to shine upon me

But it stayed behind a wall of grey

And as the frigid air started to take hold

There was that sickening moment of clarity

When the heart breaks from realising

That something beautiful has just died

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

The Boy Who Bounced Between Doors

Young soul

Mind crying out

Learning life too quickly

Two homes

Not twice secure

A small boy

No coat

No shoes

On the wet road

Running in the dark

Heading for his safe haven

It isn’t right

That you need to flee

No sense from there

Come to where it’s calm

Softer voices

Be heard

Understood

A broad shoulder

For tears to dry against

Clinging on

Such sadness

As you must be returned

How adults fail you

A toy ball

Bouncing between two doors

Not a game you chose

Fear not child

Safety is here always

Until you can decide

Your own rules

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

Baby Couldn’t Wait

Still trying hard to understand

Waiting in a foreign land

For a lover’s hand

To hold on to

A few more weeks is all it needs

To find a way across the seas

Arriving on the breeze

Then happiness

But baby said she couldn’t wait

Life’s too hard for her to take

Decisions she would make

Give up her dream

She couldn’t do it all alone

Needed someone of her own

To make a working home

And share her life

She turned away her gaze

From all the different ways

That pointed to her destiny

Cried for her head had told

Not what her heart did hold

Not what her dreams said should be

So took a step back in her past

Found someone within her grasp

Someone who didn’t last

The time before

Then packaged up her dream for good

Said goodbye as best she could

Still wondering if it would

Have ever been

And far away her lover prays

Plans erased of better days

So home he stays

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

Fly By Nights

If you let yourself be taken up

And then put down again

And again and again and again

Don’t expect your value to increase

For every time you are discounted

If they keep coming back to you

Make sure that you’re not waiting

Be far away from where they left you

And when they do not search

Then you are better for their failure

For only a spectacular act of selflessness

Could ever make your wounded heart

Forgive and trust again the bird that flew

Don’t let yourself be someone’s second choice

You are unique, you are magnificent

And you are already number one

To the one who proves they deserve you most

For your devotion is worth a hundred times

The fancy words and claims of fly by nights

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

When Men Become Truly Free

There comes a times in the lives of men

When the ruthless and the criminally insane

Who rule the masses for their own gain

Make the fatal mistake of enjoying too much

Their psychopathic entertainment

They lose control in their lust for blood

And take too far their need to tread men down

By destroying any sense of a secure life

And taking away each and every freedom

Stealing the last piece of wealth they possess

So they cannot even care for their own

Stifling their voice with laws and corruption

Beating them down with rule by force

Where no justice exists for those being played

And there is no direction left for men to turn

When this insane game is taken this far

Comes the time when men have nothing left to lose

This is the time when the minds of men are freed

It is a time when man loses his fear of death

This is the time when a man becomes invincible

He becomes free to do whatever he must do

Without fear for his life or for his future

He will take control of the destiny of the world

Away from the bloodied hands of the soulless

Any action he takes he will take with a surety

That he must do something for he has no future

So the act he chooses will be all the greater

For when faced with oblivion and with no way out

He will take down as many of his oppressors with him

Gladly die in a selfless act to change the world’s future

This day is coming soon as it always does

The perverse minds of evil always self destruct

As their addiction to our suffering can never be sated

Exerting control for their paranoia and fear of men

For every good man will take down these brutes

Every free man will give up himself for his brothers

For a man with nothing left becomes fully empowered

And he is the most unassailable weapon against evil

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

Butterflies Through My Window

I hear the soft notes of a song

Float up like butterflies

From beneath my open window

A song I heard when you

First sang it to me

You wanted me to know

How much I meant

I could only sing the chorus

But you knew all the words

As I fumble now through old papers

And a photograph of you

Falls from the pile

Picking up your smiling face

I hear your voice

Sing that song to me again

And I find I know the verses

Now you’re far away

I think one day

We might sing this song

In a fine duet

With me below the window

And you can be my Juliet

Then throw me down

A string of kisses

So I can climb

And rescue my princess

From the place where I keep

All our memories

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

The Lost Tribe

I’d heard a rumour

There was a lost tribe

Somewhere

Erased from memory

Well, more hidden than lost

It was kept isolated

By nature and, more worryingly

By man made barriers

I’d heard the stories long ago

First in a passing discussion

That sparked my interest

Then began a collaboration

Working with a fellow traveler

A far more experienced explorer

To look through rarely sampled volumes

In all the hidden corners

Of the oldest stores of knowledge

To which we could gain access

As the story pieced together

It revealed a people

Unseen for the longest time

Not simply due to their remoteness

But prevented from reaching the outside world

By a more aggressive tribe

Who concealed them

In a natural prison

With a man made door

Intrigued we searched on

For their location

In many places around the globe

But all became false leads

Until one day the clues we found

All pointed to one place

And there we travelled

Or as near as we could get

The last stage of the journey

Was slow and arduous

Hacking our way

Through the impenetrable jungle

That lay between us and our goal

A maze of entanglement

So confusing

It sapped our strength and will

Forcing us back

Sending us in circles

It seemed to have intention

As if it wanted us to give up our quest

I often wanted to end the search

But my companion drove us forward

Seemingly knowing my mind

Better than I myself

And persistence was rewarded

When one day we heard a river

Coming from the base

Of an approaching mountainside

Just as we had read

This must be it

It was then we realized

We had no plan

To deal with what we might find

Too keen to make discoveries

Without knowing

What to do with them when found

So stop we did

To take stock and rest

Devise a strategy

For how to proceed

And decide what our goal truly was

Tread carefully adventurers

For what you uncover

Has been this way for many a long year

Ideas of reality

Will not be as yours

Do not judge those you find

Against your own values

No ordinary river

This was not nature’s work

A man made channel

Carved into the ground

Like a huge scar

So deep the water ran far below

The sheer sides unassailable

Our side much higher than the other

The channel was fed by a huge waterfall

Cascading down the slippery face of a mountain

Feeding the river as it arced around

Cutting off the narrow entrance

To a mountain pass

What could be so terrible

To warrant such defenses

For a barrier it undoubtedly was

It felt like I knew this place

I have been here before somehow

And I was compelled to leap across

Foolishly feeling sure I could make it

My companion restored my reason

Deciding instead

To look for those who put it here

The land this side was rugged

Not barren but not fruitful

The vegetation scratched at our limbs

As we moved away from the river

In search of the keepers of this barrier

We didn’t have to wait long

As if our presence was known

I had felt watched

We were met

By a large group of people

A tribal delegation

All dressed up

In the most eclectic styles

Clothes that didn’t fit this scene

Mixed and matched

Parts of old uniforms

Bright cloth and feathers

Hats and some coats with shiny buttons

On these bare legged men

Not tribal dress at all

Just for the occasion

To create a sense of pomp and ceremony

We almost laughed

Welcomed with overt smiles and gestures

We went to their village

A poorly kept place

Not best organised

But functional

They showed us their homes

And how they lived

Very eager they were to show us

Almost looking for approval

To impress us

We talked at length

And a feeling of unease stirred in us

As the ceremonial garb they wore

Came off bit by bit

Revealing themselves from their camouflage

The longer we stayed

The more native they became

When we asked about the river

The finery wore off

First they said there was nothing in the valley

No need to go there

No way to enter anyway

Swearing the river was a natural feature

Please stay

And enjoy our hospitality

The longer we stayed

The more we saw their characters

Beneath the fancy dress

Some became short tempered

Others showed fear and despair

While some became angry

When we asked again about the river

As the mask slipped further

Frustration and bitterness began to surface

These people were not what they portrayed

When first they greeted us

As the people revealed their true natures

My companion

An experienced negotiator

Used that skill

To slowly draw out the story

Of what had happened here

As we gained their confidence

We found the legends we had heard were true

There was once a large tribe here

Prosperous and fruitful

Until there was a civil upheaval

And this tribe drove the defeated ones

Into the mountain pass

It happened so long ago

None here remembered it

Nor remember the building of the barrier

None even remember

Ever seeing the lost tribe

Or what was the reason for the split

To them it is only myth

Yet their fear of them was real

No-one ever goes in

And no-one ever leaves

Save for a legend of a boy

Who long ago it was told

Came out of the valley

Before the barrier was finished

And disappeared into the jungle

We stayed a long time

In their uncomfortable hospitality

I felt our presence

Had made them more reflective

Looking at themselves against us

A slight softening of fear occurred

Until we finally persuaded them

To help us to cross the river

They would not come

But a bridge of sorts they made us

Temporary but adequate

They all kept a safe distance

And even turned away

So as not to witness our crossing

Denying their assistance

Once we were out of sight

We heard the sound of hurried work

As the bridge was pulled back up

There was no going back now

Deeper in we searched

Along the pass until it opened out

Into a valley

Lush and green

With clear water

Completely enclosed by white faced

Impenetrable mountains

As far as the eye could see

Like a beautiful idea

Inside a mass of grey

After a time here

We began to feel lighter

The weight of our mission

Less burdensome

Then eventually

There was a sense of life around us

Welcome

Said a surprised face

Welcome

He apologised

Unable to remember how long

Since anyone had visited

I noticed a quizzical look

As if he thought he recognised me

And he happily took us to meet the others

Holding back our story

Until we learned theirs

But like those outside

They neither remember why, when or how

The great barrier was built

Yet they were happy people

They were welcoming

Kind, calm and loving

Even to strangers like us

With no needs that weren’t fulfilled

In their little pocket of heaven

But they also lived in fear of the legends

That the outside world

Was not a place for them

Their like would not survive outside

As in the legend

When they would not fight

And were easily driven from their home

Outside was dangerous

There was safety in the valley

Secure behind the barrier

Then we regailed them with stories

Of our travels

Their surprise

When they heard that they were fabled

And of our time spent with their captors

Their former tribesmen

They listened with wonder

As we explained how they neither remember

Why nor how this happened

And that in our time with them

We sensed a softening

And a longing to be helped

But all the help they needed

Was right here

Much time we spent in the valley

And much we learned from them

It was hard to desire to leave

But our mission was clear

Not to expose this to the world

Not yet

Just to expose these people

To eachother

So with bravery and love

We trekked

To the edge of the mountain pass

To the scarred out gorge

Where the water flowed

And there we called out to the tribe

Till our lungs were hoarse

We called to them to meet us

Finally two men came

There was fear

And there was anxiety

But we eventually convinced them

To lower the new bridge

And meet us on their terms

From that day on

After those difficult first stages

The tribes remembered

They were blood

And that small bridge

Was never raised again

In time more and more

The people crossed the divide

Slowly becoming one tribe once more

By the time we chose to leave this place

A permanent crossing had been built

Only then did we know

We could safely leave them

To grow on their own together

Not all would cross that bridge

Some on the far edges would never

But every group has it’s extremes

But in time

One day in the future

That man made scar

May again be removed

Just a remnant remaining

To remind them

Of past mistakes

And where this tribe once lived

Will be whole again

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)