Childhood trauma

Childhood trauma

How did I get here?

Here in this glass prison?

I remember once swimming with all the fish

In the vast wide blue ocean

I’m sure I did many times

I know I did, I remember it surely

Yet now here I am washed up and trapped

How long have I been in this bottle?

Invisible to me as I floated through the water

But now on this shore it’s my world’s end

How did I get inside if I cannot get out?

Perhaps I was much smaller when I first fell into this place

I don’t remember it happening

Maybe I grew up in here until I was too big to leave again?

I didn’t notice it had happened so young

Too busy at play to see

Too fascinated with the things around me as I floated along

Just letting the currents take me where they will

Not realising I was in a capsule

One that would ultimately trap me and take me away from life

I can’t breathe in here

I need the water soon

I can’t hold on forever

Will the tide come back and claim me and carry me off again?

Off to float oblivious to my predicament

The tide ebbs and flows, coming so close

Just out of reach

But never close enough before it falls away again

Over and over in maddening waves of hope

This time will I be saved?

I think I am too far up this beach

Cast away on a spring high tide

It is too long to wait for the next one to save me

This was bound to happen

If I’d only realised where I was sooner

And escaped earlier

But I am still growing

This cage will crush me if I float away again

Now I have to escape

I fell in here unaware in my infancy

Now I am adult I must break out and swim properly

Without protection, without limits

But breathing is getting more difficult

I have to get out soon

This glass is too thick, I am too week.

I bang my head against the walls to no avail

I need help

Someone break this bottle

Or tell me how I can do it

Time is running out

I’m scared

Time is running out

I’m going to die in here

I’m really scared

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2008)


4 responses

  1. Bunny Boo

    I don’t have the words to express how deeply this moves me. But I don’t need to say anything anyway, you already know… (((hug)))

    May 9, 2008 at 12:17 am

  2. Hadenough

    Very unique writing. a style of it’s own–very well done.

    May 10, 2008 at 11:23 am

  3. mia

    this is great, i used it for a project…xo

    July 19, 2011 at 3:02 am

    • That’s nice, what did you do with it? I would be interested to see.

      August 7, 2011 at 10:07 pm

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