Sailing the Styx without Charon


.

Sailing the Styx without Charon

.

Give me back my mind

The way it was, no

The way it should be

No, I don’t know

But I want it free from you

No more help from you

.

Dripping your sweet poison

Quietened my thoughts

Where would I be without you?

But where should I be?

I want my own destiny

Not yours

.

Stop pulling me back

Don’t make me sick

I can feel you leaving

Changing back wasn’t the plan

You lied to me

I should be new

.

I don’t want you

But I don’t want me

Something better

Free to evolve and grow

Like you promised

I can’t go back to that

.

A whole life not connecting

Never knowing why

Always seeing wrong

Fighting constantly

A roller-coaster nightmare

Hellish highs and lows

.

Spinning, racing around

My thoughts speed up

Rolling, motion sick

Winding up the head spring

The panic alarm

Fired into my chest

.

Taught body straining

Eyes wet again

Tingling tension

Trying to shake me

It can’t be real

You cannot have me

.

I can’t do this again

Don’t let it come back

Throw out all pasts

No reminders

The old life must go

And all that was in it

.

Have I learned?

It doesn’t work

You won’t let me go

Without letting me know

It was you all along

Protecting me

.

Give my head peace

Let me do this alone

So I can see properly

Without your filter

I must take this chance

For now is the time

.

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2010)

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2 responses

  1. amazing! i am out of words.. keep writing!

    January 11, 2010 at 8:16 am

  2. Patti Jo (Bear Hugz)

    Love this. A lot.

    March 16, 2010 at 5:48 pm

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