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Risking the Soul

worried-man1

Risking the Soul

His shame suppressed
Replaced by a glorious feeling of power
An ancient dark emotion
Revels in the act of domination
And he stays firm
Those darting eyes stare up at him
Flashing black with terror
He sees straight into a soul
Her petrified figure beneath him
Forcing her to enjoy this
And he keeps telling himself she wanted it
Gripping his forearms afraid to move
Afraid to make a sound
His shame rises and falls again
Pushing empathy aside he stays firm
She asked for this
But still he fears he cannot do it
Raised to care, but not like this
Not for this
Recoiling in tears wont help
Accept the demon if he really cares
Let it in but don’t let it take him
Test him against primordial forces
Control it then return it to the shadows
When she needs him back
How many times did his conscience fail her
Unable to hold straight when she needed him
Unwilling to accept he had to become them
To enter the minds of the monsters who put her here
Learn from them what it takes to hurt
And be those creatures for an essential moment
Forced to be like them to repair the damage they did
Fearing it could take hold of him
Only true love can carry him through
Ashamed that he must take pleasure to stir up this terror
She needs him to be stronger than them
To look inside the minds of men possessed
See what they saw
Feel what they felt
And now he knows demons exist in us all
Dangerous beasts buried by conscience
Wondering was he unwise to rouse them from sleep
Imperil his mind to unconscionable creatures
Willingly, never considering the danger
That now he may have to fight them forever
But for a greater need than his own
Has he risked his very soul for love?

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)

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Say Something

man-walking-away

Say Something

Say something
Before its too late
Just say something
Before love turns to hate

Break the silence
While the chance is still there
Mental violence
Almost too much to bear

Stubborn fools
You will lose all you made
There are no rules
No need to be afraid

So say something
You can reclaim your fate
Just say something
Before its too late

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)

Art Perfected

Bernini Sculpture Pluto and Proserpina (1621-22)

Art Perfected

I watch her from the doorway of her studio
As she shapes her latest labour of love
A sculpted figure from her imagination
It’s elegance begins to reveal itself from the unfinished block
Smooth lines stopping half way down
Contrasting the natural beauty of the rough wood
I love how she is so absorbed
That she doesn’t notice my presence
Her wide eyed intensity excites me
It’s not so much that I love her art
More that I adore how she becomes when she creates it
Biting her lip while she carves another wafer thin piece away
I watch her slender arms move
Each stroke causing the muscles beneath her flawless skin
To flex and twitch new shapes and shadows
My eyes roam to the arch of her back as she leans in
And her hair begins to cascade over her shoulder
I stare in wonder at these things
She stops and raises her arms
Gathering her hair high behind her head
I marvel at her neck, how it sweeps down to her shoulders
Taut across her back as she ties her hair
Like carved stone yet living
The glow of perspiration on her skin catching the light
I want to taste it again
To come up behind her unnoticed
And catch her attention with a kiss on her spine
But this time I just watch
For what is more perfect art than this?
Her sculpture so inspiring stimulates the senses underhand
With perfect lines and textures
But to me true art is alive and ever changing
Like the images that appear to dance in fire
Is it colour, form, sound, movement, or is it story?
It is all of those at once and so much more
She is art perfected
Watching how her body moves as she works
And the emotion in her face
The flow of her hair as she turns her head
Or the heartbeat I miss as her eyes turn toward me
And the sparkle in her face lit by a smile
There is more art in the curve of her hip
As my hand moves from her waist to her thigh
How it feels when she wraps her warm soft body around me
The little sounds of pleasure as she exhales
And the glorious intensity of her mouth
With tastes and aromas that infuse the mind
This art interacts
Every moment a new experience
She who is more perfect than any masterpiece
My daydream is interrupted as she hums a tune
Swinging to her own rhythm while she smooths down her wooden figure
I listen but not for long
My restraint is overcome
Silently moving up behind and enveloping her with my arms
And finally kissing that neck I longed for

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)

I Need A New Planet

alone-in-a-crowd

I Need A New Planet

Alone, alone
In a crowded room
Separated from stars
Like an earth bound moon

I appear in view
As a part of the group
But unnoticed by those
In the intimate loop

I cannot connect
Through this conscious divide
Meeting vacuous stares
Our two worlds wont collide

I need a new planet
Where the people care more
For the future they leave
For the children they bore

Must I live my whole life
Like a cloud in the sky
Watching people below
Never learning to fly

If so take me now
Or I’m left with the choice
To forget all I’ve learned
Silence my inner voice

If I could just wake
All the minds from their sleep
We could plant a new seed
A bright future we’d reap

I could finally live
In a world of my peers
Having friends all around
Share our hopes and our fears

But if I don’t try
They will live fast asleep
Let my child’s future fall
Into slavery deep

So choice I have none
And alone I will stay
Just hoping the others
Will join me some day

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)

Chasing Memories

lost_scarf

Chasing Memories

Stepping down onto the pavings
Cold air rushes in through my open coat
Pulling it around me
There is something missing!
Panic overwhelms me as the bus pulls away
Tears well up from my heart
Breaking over lashes
Adrenalin surges down
Suddenly I’m sprinting
Watching, hoping for red lights
My injured calf forgotten
No pain registers
Only winning this race to the next stop matters
To rescue the scarf you gave me
It’s all I have left
Banging on the doors at the junction
The pneumatic hiss
My euphoric release
Burying my face
Wetting the soft wool
Your scent infuses my mind
But I know there is no smell
You’ve been gone a year
As I turn to carry on
Pain sears through my leg
And I know I cannot walk alone

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)

No Happy New Year

Empty box

No Happy New Year

No special food or festive cheer
No clink of glasses wine or beer
No sound of laughter nor of song
No smiling faces came along
No presents, gifts from you and me
No decorations, lights or tree
No warm embraces in our bed
No wishing well the year ahead
No cards, no calls, no joyous tears
No merry Christmas, no happy new year
No midnight kiss, no hopeful toast
No friend here when I need her most
No perfect love to share the season
No excuses, no good reason

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2014)


Let The Real You Sing

fenced+in+or+flying+free

Let The Real You Sing

Don’t listen to that inner voice
The one that sounds familiar
Like you, but an impostor
That feeds on pain and failure
A demon born of trauma
Existing only to deceive
Assuring it’s intentions
Are only to protect you
It mimics you for comfort
Using counterfeit thoughts
Saying no, saving you
Always saving you
From yourself and a dangerous world
Years of whispers
That no-one else hears
Masquerading as logic
To synthesise fear
“You’re different” it says
“Their normal’s not yours”
“You can’t” it lies
“They took something from you
You’ll never be complete
Don’t try, it will hurt you
Hide here, you’re safe with me”

Now the real you is woken
And a small voice spoken
When your soul was touched
By a kindness unknown
It reached in to find you
And pointed the way
Confusing and muting
The thief of your being
So the small voice grew louder
And finally dared to say
“I can see it, I want it
I can have it all
The life I thought stolen
Was there all this time
Now hold my hand tightly
And guide me each step
Then nothing can stop me
From living again”
But the mimic still tries
Though defeats it now knows
Still shouting you down
All your new found desires
But trusting your inspiration
Your voice begins to sing

Fear of life waning
Experienced in love
All you had wanted and more
Now with strong voice
Let go of that hand
Determined, reliving lost time
With a thousand new ideas
Once hidden by dark noise
Still beware, it is there
Waiting for weakness
With the first signs of doubt
It’s poison seeps in
But you know how that tastes now
You’re wise to it’s bitterness
Just sing from your heart
When the fraud whispers lies
Because you are good enough
You’ll be loved your whole life
Then remember the moment
When the little voice first said
“I want it all”
The demon knew then it was dying
Though desperately still it tries
While fading into distant memory

©Copyrighted by Colin Ryan (2013)


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